Starting that life-saving conversation

September 8, 2022

Ella Mano

Ever walked away from someone thinking to yourself “they seem a little off”?

Perhaps they have become curt, a little snappy, or perhaps distant and distracted. 

Or maybe they have stopped doing things that they once enjoyed, like sport or catching up with friends. And perhaps there’s something else – a mood change – like they’re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

And sometimes, when we notice some of changes like this, our first response may be frustration, or even anger. “They cancelled on me AGAIN!” “How dare they snap at me!?” 

What we need to realise is this: when someone starts acting out of character it’s usually an indication that there may be something deeper going on. They may be depressed, suffering through loss or separation, or anxious, or worried and unhappy.

When these feelings persist, and if that change in behaviour continues for an extended period in a friend, colleague or family member, what you are seeing can be signs of mental illness.

Only 1-in-3 of those struggling with mental illness will seek treatment. Many just suffer in silence – unable to talk about it, or to reach out, or maybe thinking that what they are experiencing is “just how life is”. 

Our message, from ADA Australia to you, is this: if we notice changes in a person, they are happening for reason. And they may need a little help from you if they are going to reach out to get the help they need. 

How do you help? By talking to them. Asking someone, “Are you OK?” is a great start. Those simple words can break the ice, and get a conversation going.

It likely won’t be an easy chat, they may not want to open up, but don’t be deterred. Creating rapport, building trust and being consistent is key. And then, we just listen.

We don’t need to have had any experience at this, what we’re doing is that human thing of just reaching out. So, listen, be a ‘sounding post’ and then simply point the person in the direction of help. You might say: “Sounds like things are feeling tough at the moment, why don’t you make an appointment with your GP?” or, if it’s workplace concerns, “Have you spoken to your workplace EAP?”

Or perhaps you might direct them to ADA’s Friendly Ear, “Why not give them a call?”

And, of course, LIFELINE and BeyondBlue.

You might then follow-up a day or two later, “Hey, how’d you go, did you make that call?”

The conversation takes effort and time - but it really can save someone's life.

So, it’s not hard. These small acts of a friend can be so powerful in helping someone get back on the road to good health and to a happier life.

If you would like to learn more about mental health and starting the conversation, head to your ADA Worker Wellbeing Hub: https://my.adaaus.com.au/login 

If this information raised any concerns for you, please do speak to your GP, they can help you back to good health, or call a helpline: LIFELINE 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue 1300 22 4636.

Article by
Ella Mano